–Shams Shaif Shaju–
While scrolling through Facebook, I noticed that my friend, who is pursuing higher studies abroad, was traveling to various countries and posting stunning photos online. Soon after, I read that two Bangla-deshis had won 9 crore in a foreign lottery. Seeing these events, I thought to myself, what a beautiful life people are living! Why isn’t this happening in my life? A sense of jealousy arose in my mind. Curi-ous, I researched this feeling online and discovered that psychologists refer to it as social media jealousy or social media envy.
Social media jealousy is a 21st-century phenomenon linked to excessive use of social platforms. It arises from comparing your own life with the idealized, curated “highlight reels” of others online. This com-parison often leads to feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and dissatisfaction. Research has shown that it can also negatively impact mental health and relationships, contributing to increased conflict and trust issues. According to a recent study (studyfind.com), about one-third of people communicate less with family and friends because they can follow them online. Nearly 60% said a friend’s social media posts make them feel that others have a better life, and over 60% feel worse when someone “unfriends” them. Additionally, 54% are upset when their posts receive no likes or comments, and nearly half feel jealous when a friend’s post receives more engagement. Only 31% of people remain unaffected by likes or comments.
Social media jealousy has become a common psychological problem worldwide, including in Bangla-desh, where platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Threads, and TikTok are increasingly popular. In the past, most social relationships were formed among people with similar social and economic back-grounds—neighbors, friends, and family. Yesterday, social media connects us to a diverse array of peo-ple, making it easy to observe and compare lives across different social and economic statuses. This con-stant comparison can make one’s own life, achievements, and social status feel diminished.
It is important to remember, however, that others’ online lives rarely reflect reality. People often focus more on others than themselves, sometimes making decisions based on these comparisons without asking whether the curated images they see are real. This tendency can distort perception and create unnecessary dissatisfaction.
Two psychological mechanisms often emerge from social media use: selective representation and the fear of missing out (FOMO).
Selective representation occurs when people deliberately present specific aspects of their lives while omitting others. For example, newly married couples may post beautifully filtered photos of surprise moments, showing only the happiness in their lives. This selective sharing encourages others to compare their own lives, often unfavorably, to these curated snapshots.
Fear of missing out (FOMO) involves focusing on what we lack. Despite having secure lives, loyal part-ners, or good jobs, people may constantly compare themselves to wealthier individuals—bosses, affluent colleagues, or celebrities—and feel deprived of wealth, excitement, or experiences. FOMO can activate the nervous system negatively, generating constant feelings of inadequacy and impacting mental well-being, which can also affect relationships.
Impact of social media jealousy includes decreased self-esteem, as constant comparison to others’ suc-cess, happiness, and social status can subconsciously lower self-worth. It also disrupts peace of mind, because envious individuals rarely feel satisfied, even when they are in a good position. Over time, this can take a toll on overall mental health.
Solutions to social media jealousy begin with awareness. It is essential to understand that online lives are not equivalent to real life; what is shown online is curated and not fully representative. Focus on the dif-ference between perception and reality, paying attention to substance over appearance. Engaging more in real-life interactions—phone calls, face-to-face meetings, eye contact, and physical presence—can help reduce social media envy.
By consciously acknowledging these dynamics and limiting unhealthy comparisons, we can protect our mental well-being and cultivate a healthier relationship with social media.
